A Cheeseburger In Paradise

Mayan Observatory at Chichen Itza

I had a great time on the cruise to the Yucatan aboard the Carnival Ecstasy. We ran into a little rough weather from Arthur, the first tropical storm of the season, but were very grateful that he kept things mostly cloudy while we were in Cozumel and Chichen Itza, else we would truly have roasted. The beautiful turquoise Caribbean sea was a bit muddy for our subocean trip but we did see some beautiful fish and coral reefs even with cloudy skies.

We were a group of 14, 10 of us schoolmates back in Belton, Texas, class of '72. We were the Cruisin' Chicks and t-shirts to match, with one rooster, everybody's favorite boyfriend Billy and his wife Linda, who kept him well in hand. We were a scenic surprise wherever we went, especially when Henrietta, a fine looking old bird who had a most fetching cackle in all the wrong places, got to talking.

We started out in Galveston, spending the night before the cruise at the Holiday Inn Resort on the seawall, closing down Gaido's and causing a scene with Henrietta's cottonectomy. Jerri had stuffed cotton down her throat to try and keep her quiet, but we decided she needed her voice so it took a couple of coat hangers and several margaritas before she got her voice back, poor old thing. No wonder she was so talkative the rest of the trip.

The next day we set sail for Cozumel and it took us all of Sunday to get down there. It was the first Sunday in a few years that I did not go to church. Surprisingly there was no form of religious observance aboard the Ecstasy. I went to the gym instead and was treated to a wonderful view of the oncoming storm which was quite dramatic and made 20 minutes on the treadmill seem like fun. By the time we got to Cozumel on Monday morning Arthur was just a steady drizzle, which kept things cool, mercifully. After the subocean view we had lunch at Margaritaville and had a great time singing Jimmy Buffet songs and drinking strong margaritas, along with pretty good cheeseburgers. Afterward we stumbled around in the rain looking for souvenirs amid the constant sales pitches from the endless vendors, assuring us their stuff was "almost free". I did get a nice fishbone Last Supper and a wonderful Mayan tablecloth. That night after dinner Billy, Carleen and I smoked a fine Cuban cigar on deck with the captain accompanied by blue margaritas. Henrietta also took a few puffs and coughed her head off.

Tuesday we landed in Progresso, a small port from which we took a 2 hour bus trip to Chichen Itza and saw the Mayan pyramid, observatory and sports stadium. I didn't have time to see the well where the virgins were sacrified or the other ruins because we only had 2 hours. Their gods demanded a lot of sacrifices, with someone having to lose a heart, a head or some other body part at most every event. They were brilliant people for their time, if a bit extreme in their theology, and were very advanced astronomers and mathematicians. Some say they were space aliens or maybe a lost tribe of Israel. Our tour guide informed us that people think the current Mayan calendar has the world ending on December 20, 2012, but really that is just the day the space aliens will bring the new digital calendar and a new era of Mayan ascendancy will begin. We'll see.

Leaving Progresso we ran into some rough tides and many people were really lurching around and getting sick. My seabands kept me just borderline queasy and the rest of us good sailors managed to close down the Starlight karaoke doing "Friends in Low Places". Then after another blue margarita and the midnight Mexican buffet, we called it a day.

The last day I slept late and then went up to the top deck to get some fresh air and sun alone in my favorite spot under the front window with a great view ahead. Then I ran into some of the Chicks and we spent the rest of the day hopping from one watering hole to the next, drinking Ultimate Suntans, laughing our asses off, singing "Baby Got Back" at Kamikaze Karaoke and then ending up totally exhausted about 10pm and actually ready to get back to America. I don't think I could have stood any more fun.

Donna, Lisa, Carleen and me at Margaritaville, Cozumel

Those changes in latitude, changes in attitude
nothing remains quite the same
With all of our running and all of our cunning
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane.
If we weren't all crazy we would go insane.
(apologies to J. Buffett)